im so conflicted. this is my daily battle.
im really considering the possibility of not spending the rest of my life with you.
and it scares me.
i KNOW what they talk about now. when they say "you just know." when they say "youll know when you know. when you find that one person you cant live without." i never understood before you.
but what they never told me was what to do if it was a one sided feeling. if he doesnt feel the same way. or what to do when i take a chance and theres a real possibility that after ive jumped, i realize my safe landing is probably not there. it never was. i didnt check before i leapt.
it. shakes. my. world.
i absolutely cannot bear the thought of not having him by my side for the rest of my life. holding my hand. being my steady constant.
please, Jesus, please dont take him away from me.
what if he is exactly what i want--but he doesnt feel the same way about me? is that settling?
im near tears.
do i give up? or do i fight for what i love??? no matter the cost. how long do i wait? is it silly to hold onto a strong feeling?
i play the mraz song on repeat. every word echoes the secret i hold inside. its torture but i dont see any better option right now.
