the way back home

i made it back home safely! this trip has been special to say the least. so many great memories that i have to cherish and a deeper connection with all the people i was lucky to spend time with along the way. i learned a lot. about myself, about others, about god, about places that aren't california. it's weird to say i grew in a month and a half of being away from home but i know i have.

the goals i set for myself at the beginning of the trip have almost all been accomplished. i learned more fully to live in the moment and let tomorrow's problems worry about themselves. things didn't always work out exactly as i planned them but i embraced the reality that life isn't mine to control. i can be persistent but i can't push something to happen. i can only be happy with my place in life and let go of the rest. i cannot be everything to every person in my life and that's okay. i won't see eye to eye with everyone and i won't be able to please everyone when i have an opinion and that's okay. i have incredible people in my life. that is an understatement. through getting to visit everyone i have felt so loved and i have so much love for the people in my life that i feel content with where i am at right now. i am learning to listen for god's voice and what direction he is guiding me in. i got a lot of prayer time in and a lot of time to just be with god and to re-center myself. and it was amazing! i feel like a better person and so much more whole and ready to serve others.

i think a huge turning point was this last weekend. i sat down and watched a todd white video (he talks about jesus and loving people a lot) and i felt renewed afterward. but there were so many other god-things the rest of the weekend and beyond that kept speaking to me. fear can be so detrimental and i certainly have lived in fear for much of my life. when we love and are loved, fear shouldn't even be a thought. "perfect love casts out all fear." over and over i saw and heard different things that reiterated this idea and i am reevaluating how i view fear in my own life and why and then focusing on love and letting my fear go. so many times the idea of being grounded in who you are and being able to have an opinion and respectfully voice it kept coming up in different conversations or movies or thoughts i had. i have always struggled with that. i've always struggled with being unsure of where i stand and with not wanting to offend anyone so i end up keeping my opinions to myself. i want to be secure in what i believe and have the confidence to voice it. and this also leads to another idea of being able to be decisive. for too long i've been indecisive about so many things. i've been envious of people who can make a decision and stick with it without putting weeks of thought into it. while not always a bad thing, i tend to do that too much and it results in me being wishy-washy all the time. it's better to pick something and go with it and even if i "fail forward" at least i am growing and changing and learning. i should allow my failures to lead me to my successes. purpose is crucial because "without a purpose we default to selfishness, which is myopic as it is hard to see outside of our own circumstance." knowing my identity, who i am, and what my purpose is, will shape how i approach my decisions and how i decide what to do.

like i said, i've learned a lot! i'm excited about all the things i've learned and now i get to put it all into practice where the rubber meets the road in everyday life back at home. i know it won't be easy but it will certainly be worth it.

so the rest of my trip went a little something like this:

san antonio:
we went to see "the great gatsby" directed by my favorite director baz luhrmann and i loved it. and the best part was that we went to the alamo drafthouse where they serve dinner during the movie. and instead of the behind the scenes clips they usually play before the movie, they played clips from old black and white movies. it was perfect! i loved it. we also went to austin and walked around downtown for a bit. i got to meet up with my wonderful friend sophia which was awesome.

seeing the great gatsby at the alamo drafthouse

this is a beautiful woman who puts a huge smile on my face: sophia

phoenix:
we went to downtown phoenix. although it was 100 degrees so we didn't last very long outside. katy and i went to an artwalk in scottsdale and we met some really nice people there. the art was so diverse and really awesome to see and meet the people who created the pieces. i saw "the great gatsby" again but at a drive in this time (i love drive ins!). i went to church with joanne. i had great talks with katy and joanne. it was the perfect end to my road trip.

downtown phoenix

joanne and me at church

the last sunset of my trip

i had so much fun. i was incredibly sad when it was over and i was driving home. i still have july to look forward to when i take on the west coast for a week with a few friends of mine. but now i can put into practice all that i've learned and keep becoming the person i want to be. thanks for being a part of my journey! it makes the experience so much richer when i am able to share it with others :)

the great midwest

yay i have time to write! here's what's been happening in my life:

minnesota:
i got to see nikki and spend time in the SNOW. yep it snowed in may. it was the first time i drove in snow too. it was also the first time i drove by 5 dead deer on the highway. *gross*
i went from weather in the 80s when i left chicago to weather in the 30s in one day. quite the opposite. i loved it though! first i saw the church where nikki is now an associate pastor and met some friendly people in the congregation. over the next few days nikki took me to get juicy lucy burgers where the cheese is melted inside the hamburger, and took me to a place called wise acre where 70-90% of their food comes straight from the farm (so delicious!), and we also went to a dinner theater to see "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat" which blew me away! everyone did such a great job. i'm realizing how much i miss being on stage and how a piece of my heart is missing because i haven't been able to sing lately and how i'm going to do something about that when i get back home. i'm thinking of taking voice lessons and somehow bringing music back into my life again. i need it.

dinner theater to see "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat"

iowa:
kristen and i went to college together and she has since moved to iowa to be with her now husband. romantic ain't it?! she's still as sweet as ever and showed me all around town. the best part was the music man museum they have in mason city, which has a replicated street made to look exactly like the movie that you can walk down! i was in the play so it was pretty cool to hear the music playing as i got to walk in the little shops they had like the billiard parlor ("trouble right here in river city, with a capital t, that rhymes with p and that stands for pool!") or the bank or the music practice room. they also had a museum section dedicated to the movie and meredith willson, who wrote it, and the history behind the music written. it was awesome! we also went out on the lake one evening and even though it was chilly i loved it. it was very relaxing. and the day i left kristen and i went to the surf ballroom, which was the last place buddy holly, the big bopper, and ritchie valens ever played. we also went to the cornfield where their plane crashed and saw the memorial they had set up. fascinating stuff.

the surf ballroom monument to buddy holly, the big bopper, and ritchie valens

kristen and me out on the lake

buddy holly glasses at the crash site memorial

palmyra, missouri:
i visited my friend katie from my elementary school days. it's a small town and the place katie lives is surrounded by hills and trees and nature and it was just gorgeous. it was secluded and so nice to have peace for a bit. i got to visit the classroom she teaches in and that was very cool. i had a great time with her and her family and i'm only sad i couldn't stay longer.

katie and me in her classroom -- we're all grown up!

a sunset walk to get the mail

columbia, missouri:
my friend joy (from california) was out here for work and even though this wasn't on my list of destinations i couldn't pass by without spending time with her! she showed me the sights of downtown and we ate delicious food (and ice cream!) and had a blast like we always do.

joy and i on a hike

maria and i next to one of the many awesome paintings in an ice cream shop downtown

nixa, missouri:
i became friends with amber a year after high school and we became good friends. she moved out here for her now husband (again, romantic) and it was great getting to see her sassy self again! missouri is a beautiful place and her and her husband showed me plenty of the beautiful parks and rivers and lakes. it was awesome. we went to branson, missouri and saw the sights there. it was fun seeing the history of the place and how it's also been built up all at the same time. we went to a 5 & dime store and i love seeing places like that of bygone times. i was definitely born in the wrong decade! anyway it was grand and i had a lot of fun.

just a taste of the beauty missouri had to offer me

amber and me in branson

a missouri "beach" (haha)

too much fun

it has been a long while since i last wrote! a lot has happened and i have barely had enough time to sit down and write a new post. but my friend nikki, whom i am currently staying with in minnesota, told me i needed to sit down and write a new post since i haven't in a long while. and so, as we are watching person of interest, i will update everyone on what i have done since texas. brace yourselves!

first of all, i must say this is one of the best ideas i've ever had. every city i go to has a certain charm. and my relationships are the most important part of my life and in this way i am cultivating the connection i have with many people i have known in the past. so overall i have been soaking in every minute with every person i have been blessed to spend my time with.

arkansas:
when i got to conway, it was all very green and i felt alive just seeing trees and grass and lush nature all around me. we made a mini trip to memphis and i stood in front of the outside wall of my holy land: graceland. we also stopped by sun studios but unfortunately couldn't go on the tour. i'll have to do that the next memphis trip. the next day i drove around the conway, ar area a little. coming from suburban living all my life, small towns hold a unique charm for me. i loved driving around and seeing nothing but farm land. no concrete jungles, just open land where a person feels free. it's nice to have a taste of more than one way of life and knowing that the way i live isn't the only way.

in front of graceland!!

crystal-lee and me--friends for 10 years!

tupelo, mississipi:
i am a huge elvis fan. most of you already know that. so on my way to florida, i realized i was driving incredibly close to tupelo, which is where elvis was born and raised for the first 13 years of his life. how could i not stop?! his first home he was born in is now a museum. it's a 2 room shack his father built and it was quite an experience. i've read books about it but to actually experience it and imagine how the presleys must have lived was quite another. i didn't go to the church across the way where he used to attend because i'm giving myself a reason to go back! it was absolutely wonderful.

the house elvis was born in--i'm sitting on the porch swing!

florida:
i had so much fun here. i spent time with my cousin jeany and her family. i did some serious shopping while i was there, got my nails done by jeany (who owns her own salon and did an AMAZING job! http://www.unitynailboutique.com), met some of jeany's wonderful friends, spent time with my cousin joey and my aunt and uncle, saw my uncle's salon for the first time, reconnected with a childhood friend of mine whom i hadn't seen since we were 13, and built so many new memories with my family. my favorite moment of my trip happened here too. while at jeany's salon, we were updating each other on our lives and our conversation kept going to deeper and deeper levels. it was good and enriching and it was connecting us more and more. we ended up crying and hugging each other (a sign of some good quality girl conversation) and were bonded on a whole new level. it was an organic moment and i will hold that moment close to my heart.

my beautiful cousin jeany and me

virginia:
what a special trip! i met up with my half sister, larissa, whom i had only seen 3 times previously. fun fact: each time we have visited each other, it has been in a different place. we have spent time together in chicago, montreal, california, and now virginia. never the same place twice! it was great getting to see her life in richmond and the places she loves going to. i was able to spend time with her friends as well and loved getting to know them. larissa made me eat a bite of tuna (i don't eat seafood) and on another night made me eat gator (which was actually pretty yummy) and then another night i tried duck liver because of her (very salty). so i am stretching myself and getting out of my comfort zone! it's very empowering! larissa showed me the sights of richmond and was a fabulous tour guide. she took me to an amazing french restaurant where we had perfectly paired wines with our desserts, courtesy of the owner of the restaurant (amour bistro http://www.amourwinebistro.com) who really knows what he is doing. i was also able to meet her parents, which is a huge step in connecting each other to our families and making up for so much lost time we weren't able to spend together growing up. i was also able to meet up with a friend of mine, whom i knew in california when i worked with her. she ended up moving and i was so sad. but she recently moved to virginia beach and we picked right back up where we left off! we got cartilage piercings and i had such a great time with her, just being able to talk and catch up. she is such a special person.

sisters!

getting my cartilage pierced

new jersey:
my friend hilary is a ball of energy and i loved the time i spent with her. she makes me laugh constantly. the night i got there, we went out to dinner with 2 of her wonderful friends. the next day we went to the amish store and got some of the most delicious warm pretzels there. i also bought jam and apple butter. later that day we walked around princeton, which is gorgeous, and spontaneously decided to see the taming of the shrew at their theater there after seeing a sign posted about it. it was adventurous and so fun! the next day we decided to head to new york. we say the broadway show "once" and walked around times square as well as central park. we had slices of pie (it's not called pizza there) for lunch and for dinner we went to little italy. all in all, i would say a perfect trip to new york city.

in front of princeton

outside the theater on broadway for "once"

ohio:
the shalawylos are a family of 6 adorable children and i love them to pieces. i loved the energy of being around them, and of course with a big family, there is always something going on. 2 of the kids were in the play "les miserables" at one of the high schools in town so we went both nights to see them perform. i was able to take abby and izzy to downtown columbus one of the days i was there and we walked around the little shops they have there. again, i loved getting to cultivate my relationships there and spend time with people like no time had passed between us. that's when you know you have good, solid friendships.

beautiful girls

the talented gavroche and cosette in "les miserables"

chicago:
oh the city of wind! i had an absolute blast here. it is where my roots are and the place i feel like i am not done with. or maybe it isn't done with me. i have family and friends there from when i was young and i love picking up our relationships every time i go back from where we left off. i spent the first few days in the suburbs where i had grown up, and then stayed in downtown chicago the remainder of my time. the weather could not have been more perfect. i even was able to take a 2 hour run/walk along lake michigan and even walked navy pier for a bit. it was refreshing and revitalizing. i ate at one of my favorite restaurants--a chicago classic--portillo's and i also had deep dish pizza, because you just have to. i visited millenium park, chinatown, had lunch in wrigleyville, and of course did some more shopping. my only wish is that i could have stayed longer and spent more time with my friends and family there.

delicious dinner with fabulous people at gyu-kaku

my cousin and i in front of the bean in millenium park

they don't call it the windy city for no reason!

so this has been my trip thus far. i have been listening for god's voice and talking to people and gaining more insight and wisdom. i have some ideas but i'm going to continue to pray for clarity and discernment because i want to glorify god in my decision making and in whatever i choose to do in the future. i want his best and i won't settle. i hope you are encouraged by my adventures. i think we all need a little adventure in our lives(: hopefully it won't be too long before i can write again!