Thursday, May 2, 2013

too much fun

it has been a long while since i last wrote! a lot has happened and i have barely had enough time to sit down and write a new post. but my friend nikki, whom i am currently staying with in minnesota, told me i needed to sit down and write a new post since i haven't in a long while. and so, as we are watching person of interest, i will update everyone on what i have done since texas. brace yourselves!

first of all, i must say this is one of the best ideas i've ever had. every city i go to has a certain charm. and my relationships are the most important part of my life and in this way i am cultivating the connection i have with many people i have known in the past. so overall i have been soaking in every minute with every person i have been blessed to spend my time with.

arkansas:
when i got to conway, it was all very green and i felt alive just seeing trees and grass and lush nature all around me. we made a mini trip to memphis and i stood in front of the outside wall of my holy land: graceland. we also stopped by sun studios but unfortunately couldn't go on the tour. i'll have to do that the next memphis trip. the next day i drove around the conway, ar area a little. coming from suburban living all my life, small towns hold a unique charm for me. i loved driving around and seeing nothing but farm land. no concrete jungles, just open land where a person feels free. it's nice to have a taste of more than one way of life and knowing that the way i live isn't the only way.
in front of graceland!!

crystal-lee and me--friends for 10 years!

tupelo, mississipi:
i am a huge elvis fan. most of you already know that. so on my way to florida, i realized i was driving incredibly close to tupelo, which is where elvis was born and raised for the first 13 years of his life. how could i not stop?! his first home he was born in is now a museum. it's a 2 room shack his father built and it was quite an experience. i've read books about it but to actually experience it and imagine how the presleys must have lived was quite another. i didn't go to the church across the way where he used to attend because i'm giving myself a reason to go back! it was absolutely wonderful.

the house elvis was born in--i'm sitting on the porch swing!

florida:
i had so much fun here. i spent time with my cousin jeany and her family. i did some serious shopping while i was there, got my nails done by jeany (who owns her own salon and did an AMAZING job! http://www.unitynailboutique.com), met some of jeany's wonderful friends, spent time with my cousin joey and my aunt and uncle, saw my uncle's salon for the first time, reconnected with a childhood friend of mine whom i hadn't seen since we were 13, and built so many new memories with my family. my favorite moment of my trip happened here too. while at jeany's salon, we were updating each other on our lives and our conversation kept going to deeper and deeper levels. it was good and enriching and it was connecting us more and more. we ended up crying and hugging each other (a sign of some good quality girl conversation) and were bonded on a whole new level. it was an organic moment and i will hold that moment close to my heart.
my beautiful cousin jeany and me

virginia:
what a special trip! i met up with my half sister, larissa, whom i had only seen 3 times previously. fun fact: each time we have visited each other, it has been in a different place. we have spent time together in chicago, montreal, california, and now virginia. never the same place twice! it was great getting to see her life in richmond and the places she loves going to. i was able to spend time with her friends as well and loved getting to know them. larissa made me eat a bite of tuna (i don't eat seafood) and on another night made me eat gator (which was actually pretty yummy) and then another night i tried duck liver because of her (very salty). so i am stretching myself and getting out of my comfort zone! it's very empowering! larissa showed me the sights of richmond and was a fabulous tour guide. she took me to an amazing french restaurant where we had perfectly paired wines with our desserts, courtesy of the owner of the restaurant (amour bistro http://www.amourwinebistro.com) who really knows what he is doing. i was also able to meet her parents, which is a huge step in connecting each other to our families and making up for so much lost time we weren't able to spend together growing up. i was also able to meet up with a friend of mine, whom i knew in california when i worked with her. she ended up moving and i was so sad. but she recently moved to virginia beach and we picked right back up where we left off! we got cartilage piercings and i had such a great time with her, just being able to talk and catch up. she is such a special person.
sisters!

getting my cartilage pierced

new jersey:
my friend hilary is a ball of energy and i loved the time i spent with her. she makes me laugh constantly. the night i got there, we went out to dinner with 2 of her wonderful friends. the next day we went to the amish store and got some of the most delicious warm pretzels there. i also bought jam and apple butter. later that day we walked around princeton, which is gorgeous, and spontaneously decided to see the taming of the shrew at their theater there after seeing a sign posted about it. it was adventurous and so fun! the next day we decided to head to new york. we say the broadway show "once" and walked around times square as well as central park. we had slices of pie (it's not called pizza there) for lunch and for dinner we went to little italy. all in all, i would say a perfect trip to new york city.
in front of princeton

outside the theater on broadway for "once"

ohio:
the shalawylos are a family of 6 adorable children and i love them to pieces. i loved the energy of being around them, and of course with a big family, there is always something going on. 2 of the kids were in the play "les miserables" at one of the high schools in town so we went both nights to see them perform. i was able to take abby and izzy to downtown columbus one of the days i was there and we walked around the little shops they have there. again, i loved getting to cultivate my relationships there and spend time with people like no time had passed between us. that's when you know you have good, solid friendships.
beautiful girls

the talented gavroche and cosette in "les miserables"

chicago:
oh the city of wind! i had an absolute blast here. it is where my roots are and the place i feel like i am not done with. or maybe it isn't done with me. i have family and friends there from when i was young and i love picking up our relationships every time i go back from where we left off. i spent the first few days in the suburbs where i had grown up, and then stayed in downtown chicago the remainder of my time. the weather could not have been more perfect. i even was able to take a 2 hour run/walk along lake michigan and even walked navy pier for a bit. it was refreshing and revitalizing. i ate at one of my favorite restaurants--a chicago classic--portillo's and i also had deep dish pizza, because you just have to. i visited millenium park, chinatown, had lunch in wrigleyville, and of course did some more shopping. my only wish is that i could have stayed longer and spent more time with my friends and family there.
delicious dinner with fabulous people at gyu-kaku

my cousin and i in front of the bean in millenium park

they don't call it the windy city for no reason!

so this has been my trip thus far. i have been listening for god's voice and talking to people and gaining more insight and wisdom. i have some ideas but i'm going to continue to pray for clarity and discernment because i want to glorify god in my decision making and in whatever i choose to do in the future. i want his best and i won't settle. i hope you are encouraged by my adventures. i think we all need a little adventure in our lives(: hopefully it won't be too long before i can write again!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

"san antone"

i don't know what it is, but i'm really liking texas. maybe it's the flat, green land, the history here, or the cowboy boots i see all around, but yes please! it's been so fun and my friends meggan and justen have been so hospitable. i saw the san jose mission and the alamo, i walked around downtown san antonio and the riverwalk, went to a middle school fair where i made a candle and branded a piece of wood, danced at the midnight rodeo bar, and reveled in the scenery all around me. the people here on the whole are friendly and i like that. it's got cute houses and a quaint feel, but still has that city vibe too. i definitely look forward to visiting again!

i'm still struggling in my mind about what i want to do in my life. i see all these really great and awe inspiring pieces of history around me and i want to contribute and make a difference and have a hand in creating something beautiful and significant to this world. i'm searching and i want to find it. i just don't know what direction to take. i'm trying to continually submit to the Lord's plan and to ask Him where He would have me and what He would have me do. it's been great having more time to pray and rest in Him. if you would send a prayer for me as well i would love that. if you have anything you want me to pray about too, let me know! i would love that. tomorrow i leave for arkansas--onto the next adventure!

mission san jose

remember the alamo!

they call this selena's bridge, named after the singer, and it's supposed to be a romantic spot to kiss that special someone

i got to brand the state of texas on a piece of wood at a middle school faire!

texas pride barbecue: brisket, cheezy potatoes, and green beans. oh and of course we got the peach cobbler a la mode to share!

a beautiful texas sunset


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

only the beginning

i'm in arizona! it's been fun so far. a lot of lazing around, driving back and forth between the same 4 exits, getting to know this side of phoenix. as mentioned, i have been getting a lot of laughter in. i am constantly entertained by the pulliams. if you've met them you know exactly what i mean.

today my plans got a little turned around. but i've been embracing spontaneity so i just went with the flow. instead i had a great conversation with joanne and God convicted me of a struggle i've been fighting for so long. now i wouldn't call myself a control freak but i definitely have those tendencies when it comes to self preservation. i operate out of fear at times and that leads to me trying to control situations or people around me. i've done a great deal of letting go of control in the past and accepting my circumstances and letting God take control instead
but i guess there are still remnants i have to continue to work on.

katy and i also went to dinner at a cute 50s diner tonight. i got the "hound dog" (hot dog) and fries and katy got the "love me tenders." we shared a peanut butter milkshake and picked songs on the jukebox. it was adorable.


i tried venison tonight. first time and it was unexpected and totally out of my comfort zone. but when in rome... turns out it is really good! i also watched the hobbit for the first time and i'm about to go watch singing in the rain (for the first time). so here's to the beginning of a beautiful trip, many more firsts, and memorable times. cheers!

Monday, April 1, 2013

road trip

for the last year of my life i attended the fashion institute of design and merchandising in downtown los angeles. i am going to graduate in june and get my associate's in the beauty industry marketing and merchandising. i finished classes a week ago today and i still have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life or what my next step should be. and i'm learning that's okay.

about 6 months ago i had a random flash of an idea. road trip. i've always loved traveling and i've gone on road trips with my family and friends before. i've even road tripped for a week on my own. but this time it's a little different. i decided to go on a cross country road trip to visit my friends and family around the country. i love traveling and i love people. it's perfect!

my goal in all of this is to learn to live in the moment. i don't want it to pass me by. "therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own." matthew 6:34. through this i intend to learn to be a better servant of all, to grow stronger as a human, to find what God's will for my next step is, to show others love, to help others, to make amazing memories, to let go of worry, to pray more and more, to learn more about who i am and to be rooted in it, and to have fun!

today i set off for arizona to visit a family i have missed an abnormal amount. i can't wait to see them. i have a permanent smile on my face when i am around them and they make me laugh until i can't breathe. they are truly special. i've only been through arizona once on choir tour and we stopped at an in n out there. other than that this will be my first actual trip there!

i plan on blogging as often as possible with all my adventures. thanks for being on this journey with me. i am surrounded by amazing people that care so much for me and i am beyond grateful.

bon voyage!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

only in my dreams

i know hes not going to be perfect. im not perfect either. but i want to know what its like to feel broken like only love can make you feel, only to look him in the eyes and know that its worth it because he loves me more than life itself.

Friday, May 20, 2011

yelling at a wall

i have no idea why i am so annoyed with certain people. they are just being themselves. but it bugs me. they have every right to be different but i cant stand it.
my mom.
i have such a hard time loving her. i love her because shes my mom. but if we werent related i dont think i would spend any time with her. today i drove her to the hospital for an appointment. no big deal. but its always the little things. she left her purse with me as she went in. "dont lose my purse" she says.
...........im sitting right next to it. it will be very hard to lose it.
we are walking out of the hospital and she asks me three or four times why we arent leaving through a certain door we came in. i keep telling her we will still be able to get out this way and that its not an issue. i walked this way twice while she was at her appointment so i know where it leads.
the entire time im driving she does the mom thing. she jumps in her seat anytime someone in front of us hits their brakelights. she grabs onto the side door handles for dear life every 5 minutes or so. she points out the direction we should be going in even though ive driven that freeway countless times. it put me on edge. she warns me about a stalled car that EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM was going around in the middle of the road. I SAW IT. IVE BEEN DRIVING FOR HOW MANY YEARS NOW? I KNOW HOW. I PROMISE. so i kinda flipped out. not the best idea.
then she tells me my cousin is going to get engaged next month. oh thats weird i said. because usually you dont know youre going to get engaged. that would take all the fun out of it. no it wouldnt, she said, she has to tell people about the party. OBVI my mom thinks that getting engaged and having an engagement party are the same thing. which THEY ARENT. so then i proceed to tell her this difference and she says are you from the moon?
what?! i say. she thinks getting engaged and an engagement party are the same thing and IM from the moon?! oh god. no it is not the same thing i told her.
she says fine. youre right (sarcastically of course because she would never say this under any circumstance when she is being completely serious and honest).
i AM right i say.
and thats when i felt my wall go back up. i felt it divide that car right down the middle. ive been thinking things were finally on the up and up. which they might still be. but at that moment i closed myself off again. i dont trust her. its sad. its sad when you see other girls having an open relationship with their mothers and you dont know what thats like.

you know what else bugs me? girls getting the guys i like(d). even if it doesnt mean anything to the guy and everyone including the girl knows it. heres a piece of advice: if you are struggling with being physical with someone and you want to NOT do that, DONT HANG OUT WITH HIM WHEN ITS JUST THE TWO OF YOU ALONE. im tired of talking about it. i dont want to hear about it anymore.

Friday, April 22, 2011

im giving up complaining

it doesnt do me or anyone around me any good. i want to live in the moment and laugh at things that would normally upset me because living any other way is tiring. and i want to spend more time with my Creator and fall more in love with Him because there im certain ill find absolute peace and i can finally release my worries and my cares and be finally free.